The Skulls, the Brains, and the Seaweed
by Dorkzilla
Summary: It's been ten long years since Gaea turned America into a wasteland. The gang has long since disbanded, going their separate ways. Now though, a turn of events and extreme coincidences have led three to come together again. They have changed significantly, and relationships grow again and comedy ensues, all in the midst of weird action. Tribute/spoof of Western films.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: One night, I was going really crazy with Western films. Afterwards, I was sleepily reading through Mark of Athena again. Pretty soon, I fell asleep, and the two ideas began to merge together. I thought about it for a while, and I think I've got the whole story down, or at least the premise. This isn't supposed to be entirely serious, it's intentionally semi-silly. I love Westerns, and so expect some poking fun at and paying tribute to the classics, and even some of the new. Alright, let's saddle up and- oh never mind….

Annabeth

I knew Nevada would be hot. I just didn't expect it to be sweltering. Traveling over miles of desert terrain during broad daylight was not helping my growing fever to settle down.

I also didn't expect that damn horse to start acting up again.

As soon as I opened my water pouch the animal started bucking up and down, making me spill the dirty liquid all over my coat.

"Fucking hell, Tuco!" I scolded the horse, who had stopped clowning around, but was now neighing EXTREMELY loudly.

"Shut up, and keep going," I said as I spilled some water over Tuco's head. Immediately the horse shook his head indignantly and continued to trot along the barren road.

"Holy freakin' Hera," I muttered as I held the reins in one hand while fanning myself with the hat that I had found back at that locomotive station.

So far, Nevada had been significantly more irritating than California, but it was at least better than the wasteland that was Oregon.

I'd forgotten how long it had been since Gaea had turned most of America into a dystopian country by use of bombs and missiles which were, of course, eco-friendly, but I assume it to have been around ten years. The dumb primordial had done it as a last resort, but us demigods ended up murdering her anyway. Of course, to be even more of a colossal bitch, she also let the whole mortal world know that the Greek gods were real.

That was, however, ten years ago (I think), and the world has somewhat gotten over us. Somewhat.

Both camps ended up disbanding, what with Chiron and Lupa sacrificing themselves in the final fight, and we all went our separate ways.

My mortal family is dead; their house was crushed by a tank that some Laistr-Lasit-Lias- Canadian had thrown during the whole panic that occurred in the mortal world when Gaia was coming close to winning.

Now I just travel across the country, coming across old friends, shooting old enemies, and occasionally stealing from pubs.

Las Vegas seems like the most interesting choice of trip right now. Who knows, maybe I'll run into the old gang again, and maybe trade in Tuco for a better horse.

A/N: Intentionally short, later chapters may be longer. Uh, you can review, tell me how I can improve, and all that good stuff.


	2. Running into an Old Friend

**A/N: Alright, back with another chapter.**

* * *

Annabeth

Took me all day, but I finally saw the skyline of Las Vegas (or what was left of it), partially lit up in the darkness of night.

Luckily, Tuco hadn't given me any more problems, the city was right there, and it was night so I was pretty sleepy, and so I decided to just fuck the trotting along.

"Okay Tuco, come on!" I encouraged the horse, and after a couple of indignant grunting he finally broke out into a sprint after the city lights.

I had given the notion some thought, and so I ultimately decided not to trade in the brown horse. Sure, he could get into a real shitty mood sometimes, and sometimes he'd make this weird horse-grin that would freak other people out, but he had at least gotten the job done for all the two years that I'd had him.

Finally, we were at the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. All of the electricity was powering the other buildings, and so the sign was dim. As Tuco walked along the streets, I saw that there were still some cars lined up parallel to each other. I didn't see why they were still there, as any remaining gas was used to power anything but the cars nowadays. Some of the buildings were no longer standing, but others had been repaired.

And then there was the people. The streets weren't crowded with them, but there was still certainly a lot. Some had to let Tuco through if they didn't want to be squashed. There were also other people on horseback, and as soon as they looked me in the eye they hurriedly began ride away. People these days were still fairly afraid/angry at us demigods, and my name was certainly well known nowadays. It's not like the mortals started a half-blood-KKK or anything, but the resentment was felt, and it was also sent back.

As I looked around, I saw the building that used to be the Lotus Casino. Now it had been reverted into a normal hotel-and-casino. It definitely wasn't my first choice of a place to crash because of all the memories it held, but for now, it would do.

I got off the horse at the entrance and tied its reins on a random guardrail against the building. I decided to keep the hat on, and put on my traveling coat with the coattails. I also slung my carbine over my shoulder. "If anyone tries to steal you, kick 'em in the balls, okay?" I told the horse. I still wasn't sure whether Tuco was mythological or not, but nevertheless, he always seemed to get my drift, as he nodded at my command.

I gave him a random apple slice to eat and then walked into the Casino. "Or just give 'em that crazy-ass smile," I muttered.

* * *

The inside of the building was all lit up with gambling machines, the air smelled of cigarette smoke, and there was a man playing a banjo. As I walked by, several men proceeded to beat the man over the head with his own instrument.

Instead of giving out money, the gambling machines gave out random tools or packaged food and such. Of course, people rarely won, but what're you gonna do?

"Just give me a random room, would 'ya?" I told the man at the front desk as I slammed the appropriate amount of money onto the table.

"We don't take yer kind," said the man behind the counter in a thick accent.

I sighed as I pulled out my knife and said, "Look buddy, just give me the room or say bye-bye to your eyeball."

Needless to say, the man had a change of heart.

The knife I had was a big hunting knife, with steel on one side and celestial bronze on the other. I had forged it myself at camp before the place had been abandoned. The carbine I had taken off some guy who had wanted me to help him look for a guy named Blondie. It was a fully loaded M1 model. Pretty old, but sufficient in hunting, and shooting the occasional molester.

When I entered the hotel room (which was on the fourth floor, by the way), I dropped said carbine onto the bed next to me. I took off the hat and unslung both my traveling pack and water pouch (which I would need to refill later). I didn't bother taking off my black fitting shirt, cargo pants, boots, or even the coat. I just wanted to sleep.

Either the gods wanted to mess with me, or the universe was just fucked up, as I wasn't allowed to sleep when the pale guy teleported into my room.

I quickly sat up, grabbed my carbine, and aimed in one smooth motion. My hand was on the trigger. Turns out I almost ended up dropping the damn gun when I saw who my intruder was, and recognized him.

"Nico?"

* * *

**A/N: Wanted to get this chapter out quick, so sorry that it's short. Please review and tell me how to improve.**


End file.
